I have to start with chapter 4 in 2 Nephi, I'll get to 3 and 5 later. This chapter has such personal meaning to me. Whenever I am feeling down, I think of or re-read this chapter. In this chapter, Lehi, the prophet who begins The Book of Mormon, dies. Chapters 1-4 contain his dying word to his sons. He passes the priesthood keys to his son Nephi, who becomes the next prophet after Lehi's death. In his death, Nephi loses not only a prophets to whom he has looked to for direction and comfort, but likely his best friend. Following Lehi's death and some more murmuring from his brothers, Nephi writes what he calls "the things of my soul," indicating what he has written and will write, which will become scripture, "for my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them." While all of the writings of Nephi reflect the things of his soul, there is no other passage so soul-wrenching and yet soul-liberating, than what he writes in Chapter 4:15-35, which is sometimes referred to as 'Nephi's Psalm'. Here's a snipet:
16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and myheart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorrowethbecause of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mineafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given meknowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
In this passage, Nephi displays the struggle that many go through: I want to do good and I know the goodness of the Lord, but I make so many mistakes!
He said he is "encompassed about because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me." I listened to a Book of Mormon Roundtable Discussion where they wondered what sins the seemingly perfect Nephi would have. One man lightly commented that he might have been angry with his brothers, Laman and Lemual. I thought that was funny, probably true, but funny. Anyway, whatever sins he felt, he felt them keenly. Even though he had seen so many great things that cause him to rejoice, at the same time he felt the pull to be better than he is and felt sorry for not being better. But then he makes this incredibly hopeful and wise comment:
"NEVERTHELESS, I KNOW IN WHOM I HAVE TRUSTED"
Which means: in spite of or even because of his sins/problems, he trusts in "the great goodness of the Lord." Then in the following verses, he remembers and testifies of the wonderful things the Lord has done for him or more particularly the things the Lord has helped him feel. Essentially, to get out of the despair he feels when he thinks about his mistakes and difficult temptation, he counts his blessings. HE DOES NOT WALLOW IN SELF-PITY OR QUIT TRYING TO DO GOOD.
This is why I love to read this passage when I am feeling down about something or down about myself. Because if I remember in whom I have trusted, He gives me hope that what I'm going through now will pass and if I remember Him, He can help me learn the purpose of my experiences and even feel peace and joy through them. In fact, here is the conclusion Nephi made after remembering the goodness of the Lord:
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. Because he puts his trust in the Lord he says to himself: what's the point of letting "my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow?" "Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions." He says this to himself. A reminder that being in the valley of sorrow and letting his heart weep too long, slackens his strength. On the other hand, as he recognizes who he trusts, he asks Him for help so they can work together:
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I maywalk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness!
Then he ends with this:
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rockof my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.
I am so grateful for Nephi's example, his determined spirit and loyalty to the Lord. He reminds me not to wallow in the hard things in my life and share my load with the Savior, which as He says: "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt 11:28-30)
No comments:
Post a Comment