If they have not charity. . .

Yes, I am posting something other that the readings. It's been a while, I know. This happened last year too. I got behind in my Bible readings in the crazy, busy fall and there went the New Testament. Now I've bottled it all up and it's a long one. . .

The last two months of my mission, for some reason, became an intense study of charity. I had never really thought of it as anything else but giving service or means to others in need. Our mission was in a big slump and our Mission President was trying to figure out what to do to get out of it. After reading quite a lot about charity, it occurred to me that our focus, as a mission, was on baptizing, not loving - charity. I talked to the Mission President about this, and he suggested that I bring it up in Mission Council (where all the Zone Leaders, Assistants and Training Sisters met). During Mission Council there were ideas back and forth about raising or lowering baptism goals and requiring different things from the missionaries. I was asked to comment and I shared my thoughts about charity. The next comment went right back to numbers. I think this was because charity is such an elusive concept that if you are not focusing on receiving charity (from the Savior), you cannot understand how to feel it or give it (which are two different things in my opinion).

That was a long introduction to the reading this week. During my reading, I experienced a classic case of a certain "mormonism." That is, there are certain scriptures that are talked about so much for a topic or person, that other scriptures associated with it are forgotten. When I read section 135, I was surprised to find that when Hyrum Smith knowing death was imminent, comforted himself with a scripture from Ether 12 that really resounded with me during my missionary charity study:

5 And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord that he would give unto the Gentiles grace, that they might have charity. And it came to pass that the Lord said unto me: If they have not charity it mattereth not unto thee, thou hast been faithful; wherefore thy garments shall be made clean. And because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father. And now I . . . bid farewell unto the Gentiles; yea, and also unto my brethren whom I love, until we shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ, where all men shall know that my garments are not spotted with your blood.

When I read this I feel truth. This is the same truth that the Savior exemplified when he faced death: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This scriptures separates responsibility and is a reminder of agency. Even though Mormon exemplified charity in praying for the Gentiles who apparently did not understand much about anything spiritual, the Lord specified that if the Gentiles did not have charity (or at least a basic respect for Mormon's purpose and work), it didn't matter because Mormon had fulfilled his purpose with love and integrity. The Lord deemed his garments to be made clean because of this.

I imagine this was a great comfort to Hyrum and Joseph, and that this truth, that they had done what they were sent to do, is why Joseph could say aloud:
“I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men."

Here's the thing about charity: Mormon, Hyrum, Joseph and the Savior all exemplified charity, Christ-like love, in the last moments of their life, toward those who did not have a Christ-like love. They could have requested to stay longer and do a little more, teach a few more sermons, help a few more people, which is sometimes what we think charity is. But they had true charity "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection;" a wise love, a love that sometimes knows when to stop, a love that uses Heavenly judgement, a love that understands and follows through with tough love and even sacrifice. Ultimately, for these four, understanding that the sacrifice of their lives would do more good than remaining on the earth.

I completely believe Moroni when tells us we need to pray for charity. Because this kind of love with wisdom and judgement and grace, doesn't come from merely affectionate love.