Mon, Mar 2: Doctrine and Covenants 25
I taught the lesson yesterday for the Young Women. The title was "Attitudes about Divine Roles." I had a hard time figuring out how I value my role (because how I value myself determines my attitude toward my roles) as a wife and mother all through the week, and also what to tell Young Women who won't possibly know what it means until they experience their divine roles. Here's the reason I had a hard time with the lesson at first. All right, there is more than one reason.
First difficulty: the world most commonly values things by monetary standards. I don't make money. I've seen funny lists of giving a monetary value to what a wife and mother does, but really you can't put a monetary value on the far-reaching effects of motherhood. I struggle with this often, but usually come out with peace that raising three decent human beings and providing support for my husband is much more fulfilling (though harder) than dealing with the pressures of a job where I would get a paycheck, as is my fortunate circumstance.
5 And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun., thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness.
10 And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better.
Second difficulty: Value is often gauged by services rendered. If I am involved in everything I possibly can, I will prove my value, right? The more I do, the more I'm valued, right? Nope. Again:
10 And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better. And. . . .
14 Continue in the spirit of meekness, and beware of pride. Let thy soul delight in thy husband, and the glory which shall come upon him.
It is so hard not to get caught in this thinking because you've got to do things that are fulfilling to you, some things that are beneficial for your neighbors, things that are beneficial to your husband and your children. There are good things to do for school, community, church and government. Here, I think, is the key (twice spoken to Emma):
5 And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun., thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness. And. . .
14 Continue in the spirit of meekness, and beware of pride. Let thy soul delight in thy husband, and the glory which shall come upon him.
If we do all that we do in the spirit of meekness (not to be confused with being weak, but in my opinion, being strong in spirit), and certainly without pride, we will be able to discern between what is good and what is bad and what is good and what is better. When we perform in the spirit of meekness we will value ourselves with true Divine value, our minds will be at one with how Heavenly Father values us.
Overcoming these difficulties is certainly a fine line to walk at all times as we are literally bombarded with what the world thinks the rights of woman should be. The lesson I taught pointed out that: Many of the rights women "should" have focus on what women deserve and should receive, almost to the exclusion of what women can give. The Lord focuses more on what women can give, thereby being fulfilled and happy (not to say that she doesn't need a break once in a while :)). The world realizes only once in a while, when a heroic mother is recognized, that the first and foremost right of women is the right to choose the life she leads. That if a women is not the head of a company or earning six figures, or making it in a "man's world," she indeed does have value, the kind of value that "moth and rust [does not] corrupt" or that "thieves [can] break through and steal" (Matt 6:19, 3 Ne 13:19).
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Anyone who thinks Mormon women are oppressed or weak doesn't know any Mormon women. The only reason people think that is because we are encouraged to work in the home and raise our kids. It is the perception that domestic labors are inferior and unskilled (I am not very skilled at my domestic labors and it shows! It's hard work and it takes mad skills.) that is at fault.
ReplyDeleteI read a blog post on Feminist Mormon Housewives where the poster ranted about people blaming the demise of the the Family in part to feminism. In defense of the author her version of feminism does not destroy the family but there is a prevalent version of feminism that destroys the family and in truth destroys the feminine. It attempts to turn women into men to make them equal rather than appreciating women as equals as they are. It also tends to emphasize what women are owed for their years of oppression. It tries to replace a "Man's world" with a "Woman's world." Women have lost their place instead of defining it through this kind of feminism. It's frustrating to be oppressed by other women who now measure the value of other women by what they do in the workplace and devalue work in the home. It's frustrating that a two income home is now considered standard. It's frustrating that even when paid for it childcare workers are undervalued and underpaid(though understandable since otherwise it isn't cost effective to work...). Women need to learn to value themselves for themselves physically, spiritually, mentally. We do too much comparing and not enough being. ... now it's getting late and my brain is tired... I have more to say on this matter but it's just not gonna happen now... so i will post this and hope it says what I intend it to say...
I like your statement, "It also tends to emphasize what women are owed for their years of oppression." I agree and I think women are wasting a lot a energy and resources and time trying to make up for it. However, there are definite benefits that have come from women who have fought hard and long for women's right and I am grateful for them. I guess the issue is finding a good balance.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the good blog. I almost never get to sit through a whole Sunday School lesson, and this is a good chance to think through some things. This post was an appropriate one for me today. Hooray for Lisa!
ReplyDeleteThere are definitely many benefits that have come from feminism. Benefits that make me thankful that I live in this time period. I am pro feminism when it is tempered and clarified by the Gospel because then we get a better view of our full potential as Daughters of God and equal heirs in His kingdom. :)
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